


— All the times I realised I l♡ved you (and all the times I've kept that t♡ myself.)

by tenderfirstlove



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Implied Relationships, It's from the POV of Simon, Jericho (Detroit: Become Human), Love Confessions, Post-Revolution, Slightly - Freeform, and sometimes Markus too, i love her but her character is underdeveloped, its fluff i swear, poor north :(, spoiler; north dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 06:52:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15746538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenderfirstlove/pseuds/tenderfirstlove
Summary: "He really has no idea how much I love him.My heart seems to beat for him and only him; it aches in a way that sets my cooling liquid seemingly on fireand makes me want to get up andrun."





	— All the times I realised I l♡ved you (and all the times I've kept that t♡ myself.)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hiyodayo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiyodayo/gifts).



> *listen to this as u read.. ;) [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VoEPTS9L-M) (u gotta love some rex orange county)  
> *also thank u @hiyodayo for chatting with me about dbh haha i hardly have any friends who like dbh so its cool to have someone else to bounce ideas off of and stuff !  
> *if you like kamcon + simarkus + gav900 then check it out :')  
> link; [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14989250)

The first time he realised how much he loved Markus was when they were at Stratford Tower. Seeing Markus deactivate  his skin and deliver the speech with such a calm voice, his eyes unwavering as he stuck to his own morals and beliefs, listing off demands in such a collected manner, it made him smile, his adoration swelling up inside his chest as he gazed longingly at their new leader. A true leader. Far better than Simon, he would never compare to Markus, not in the way of leading.

Markus was more determined and resistant, bold and willing.

Simon was less so.

He looked out for his people as he could; he was designed to be a caretaker, and that meant taking no high risk actions that'd expose his people and bring them close to danger. It was a good quality, being so caring about others, but he was so caring almost to a fault.

As the police started to pile in and Simon got shot, he was sure that he'd only cause more trouble for them and prompted them pleadingly to just leave him behind, although Markus wouldn't let that happen, he came back for him.  _For him_. He didn't believe it as he felt Markus' hand lift him up and carry him to the roof, his rough yet also soft hands holding Simon's petite and paler wrist, Simon almost wanted to lean into the other, but that'd give him away, so he didn't.

As they made it onto the roof,the hetero-chromatic android locked the door to but them some time. Markus set him down against the container, gently making sure he was alright before he withdrew to discuss with Josh and North about what they should do. Simon over heard them arguing, North being ever loving violent one, suggesting they should just shoot him, how nice. Josh was too peaceful, deciding to just leave him there, the android couldn't stand to kill their old leader, and friend. In the end Markus looked at the gun in his hand and went down on his knees to be on the same eye-level as Simon who was panting, LED circling a violent blood-red as he looked into the soft blue and green eyes, his own baby-blue ones softening as he could hardly feel the gun being slid into his own hand, Markus' fingers tightening around his hand to ensure that he was holding it. 

With that and another glimpse back to the bleeding android, Markus jumped off with the others, leaving Simon alone once again. 

> _' The adventure and freedom I've been searching for all this time are in his eyes and the warmth I've been missing is clear in his laughter._
> 
> _I bet his hands feel like home, like comfort._
> 
> _Would he embrace me in his arms so tightly or ever so gently, as if I was glass ?_
> 
> _Would his heart beat miles a second when he sees my face ?_
> 
> _Or would he be simply relieved as he felt my presence ?_
> 
> _Only time will tell.'_

He closed his eyes briefly.

He focused on the feeling of those warm fingers, wrapped around his own. Markus' warm breathe mingling with his own as they locked eyes, no words needing to be spoken between the two as Simon leaned toward Markus, foreheads bumping together affectionately before Markus pulled away.

The android smiled, thirium coated and chapped lips closing as he opened his eyes once again, crawling to a hiding spot.

He will return.

For him.

 ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ 

The second time he felt his heart swell with affection was when he returned to Jericho, stumbling and slightly damaged, but in one piece. Standing on his two legs as he panted, he and Markus locked eyes once again and their leader rushed to the other android, arms locking around him as they pressed him into the sturdy chest.

Silence.

A sob escaping from Simon.

> _' The embrace had been more warm than what he ever imagined._
> 
> _He closed his eyes, lifting his arms to hug back, clinging to his cloak desperately as his body was_
> 
> _shaking with tears, tears which were happily soaked up by the fabric._
> 
> _His hands feel like affection itself. Like comfort. Like home._
> 
> _His embrace so tight and full of worry, yet delicate as if he was afraid that that I'd leave._
> 
> _I can feel his artificial heart pounding against his chest, almost matching the pace of mine._
> 
> _His sudden sigh of relief echoing in my ear as I sob._
> 
> _Time has answered me. '_

His breaths were unsteady and rough as he let hot tears slide down his face, burrowing himself more and more into the shoulder in front of him with relief. The silence hung in the air constantly, the only thing that didn't change at his time in Jericho.

Suddenly, the silence was cut by noise, a small murmur in Simon's neck by Markus. 

He didn't know what the other said, just appreciating his presence as he tugged on the bunched up cloth in his hands.

He was finally home. 

 ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ 

The third time, his heart beat so heavy with panic and worry he couldn't believe how he was still operating. They were protesting and per usual Josh and North were fighting; North suggesting they should just run towards the row of officers who were  _armed_ , good idea, as per usual. Josh had recommended that they simply stand their ground and be still, they hadn't done anything apart from just standing, not disrupting anything in particular. Simon of course would have wanted that they just leave peacefully, even though there was a low chance of them actually being left alone by the humans.

Warm and piercing mis-matched eyes bore into his own ones, Simon simply offered a smile in the end, "Whatever you decide, we'll follow you." Markus turned his attention back to the officers, taking a few steps ahead, only to be shot near the shoulder, almost hitting his thirium pump. Androids dispersed and ran back to Jericho as Josh and himself carried Markus back. 

He was going to get an earful from him, that's for sure.

> ——— **Jericho**

They sat him down in his room upstairs, North going off to fetch a packet of thirium with Josh trailing behind to check and headcount everyone who returned. Simon sat next to Markus' head, softly playing with his hair before running his fingers through it gently as Markus turned back on, LED flashing yellow before turning back to blue as he opened his eyes and stared up at Simon. 

"Sy? What happened?",he mumbled as he sat up, but got back down whilst he winced roughly, Simon taking his head into his own lap and glaring down at him. "You were an idiot, that's what Markus. For having one of the most advanced processors out of all of us, you're really not using it as much as you should be." Simon sighed as his eyes flickered to Markus' wound,"How are you feeling?" He asked as his voice went more gentle, a hint of hurt laced within as Markus gave him a sheepish smile. 

"I'm fine",Markus looked at him, smile dissipating as he leaned into Simon's touch,"I'm sorry. Next time I'll think things through more..although now we have more allies",he looked up, eyes hopeful. The caretaker android's LED turned a honeycomb colour as his eyebrows furrowed,"When I said we'll follow you I didn't think that you'd do something like that..",he trailed off as his pale baby blue eyes snapped to the sound of the knock, only to see North standing by the door with three small packets of thirium in her hand as she pursed her lips and tossed them to Simon, with more force than what was probably needed. 

"Here, make sure our leader doesn't die on us." Simon nodded as North gave him a brisk smile before turning away and joining Josh, harassing him cheekily instead,"Hey Josh !"

Markus stayed silent throughout their exchange, both of them hearing Josh noisily complaining about North's loudness before the two burst out laughing, Simon just smiled, clearly entertained. He shifted so that Markus sat upright, leaning on Simon slightly as he opened the first packet of thirium. "Don't rush, you'll choke." He warned as he handed the packet to Markus,their fingertips touching as the other took it, nodding softly before drinking it, a small screen popping up in his vision informing him that his thirium levels were increasing. 

> **Thirium level 57%**

Simon handed him the next packet,"One more and you should be okay, self-healing functions should be okay to activate." He smiled pleasantly as he saw Markus drink the second packet with much enthusiasm before looking to Simon for the next one eagerly, self-repairing his wound already.

> **Thirium level 79%**

Simon chuckled as he propped the next packet open,"You're drinking too fast, slow down. I know you're eager to see and talk to all the new androids but you need to be careful, I'll have to check that wound also",he hummed as he saw Markus make a sad face, he let out a chuckle as he gave the packet to him,"Well, okay. Have at it."

Markus gave a grin as he took the packet, hand lingering on Simon's as he looked into his pale eyes,"Thank you,I don't know what I'd do without you." He let the thirium slide down his throat, a somewhat jelly-like consistency until it hit the regulator and got carried through out his body.

> **Thirium level 100%**

Simon smiled as his cheeks flushed a sky blue,"I know, you'd probably be half dead by now",he teased as he looked at Markus with affection, his eyes turning soft as he looked at the wound again, lips pursing stubbornly as he thought. Markus took notice and took his shirt off, assuming he'd want to examine the wound now that he was full on thirium. "Wh-what are you-" Simon looked everywhere but Markus and the other made a confused face. "I thought you wanted to examine my shot wound ?" His head tilted slightly, eyes looking at Simon's bewildered expression as his cheeks tinted further.

Markus' own cheeks turned a little blue,"O-Or I suppose maybe it wasn't necessary." He coughed, trying not to appear as awkward. "A-Ah. R-Right. Sorry.." Simon mumbled as he leaned in to check the wound before checking Markus' back, the bullet was stuck in him. The blonde looked up to the brunette with a more serious expression,"I'm going to have to take that bullet out of you." He sighed heavily, getting up,"Stay here, I'll go get some tweezers to use, in the meantime, make sure that it stays open."

Markus simply nodded as he saw Simon's figure leave the room and go down the stairs, he couldn't help but smile like an idiot. 

He was absolutely **smitten** and didn't even **know** it.

 ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ 

The fourth time he knew he loved him was when the humans were attacking Jericho.

North, Josh and him met up, and awaited Markus' arrival, what neither of them expected was that Connor would be with him. they started to argue loudly, and inefficiently. 

"Markus, we need to leave,  _now_! We can't have our people die just for nothing-"

"Markus, we need to strike back ! Show them we won't just take it, no matter what it _costs_ us !"

"North, are you crazy ?! We can't throw away our people's lives just like that !"

"Well maybe if they're not prepared to fight, like you, then they should just _perish_ because they're undeser--"

"That's **ENOUGH**." Markus took in a deep breath before sighing, looking to the others,"Josh, North, I need you to help get everyone evacuate; I've already alerted many of our people about the attack, but some may be trapped or lost. I need you two to notify and help as many androids as you can, keep them safe." North and Josh sighed, frustrated, but agreed nonetheless. It wasn't the time to fight like this, they went off, spreading out and searching the area. 

Markus looked to Simon, grasping his shoulders, squeezing it slightly as he held it,"I need you to help those who are injured, I know there may not be a lot of them but I can't bear to have anyone else die." The 'for me' part was left unsaid, hinging around in the air, making it seem stuffy and clustered. Simon nodded as he put a hand on one of Markus',"Don't worry about me, I'll make sure everyone is safe and accounted for," Simon smiled before taking the hand and threading their fingers together delicately as gunfire and screaming made its way through to them, he squeezed them, pushing all feeling into a single action before he let them fall apart,"But please, stay safe." The 'for me' part was once again unsaid.

Markus smiled with ache in his eyes as he let Simon go off reluctantly, turning to Connor.

"Now, I need you to buy me some time."

 ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ 

The fifth time Simon knew his heart was aching for Markus was when Perkins ordered his men to start attacking, chaos was unleashed. 

Blood, blue and red alike, spilled across crisp white snow. 

Tainted.

Humans and their _dirty habits_..

Humans and their _violence_...

Humans and... _Us_.

Simon only remembered a few things, he hardly had the chance to focus properly, he was too busy trying to get as many of their people out as he could.

To protect them, there were only a handful of survivors.

He didn't see Markus anywhere, he went back and saw Markus slumped against a barricade, North rushing to help him as he protested, but it was too late. She took out her glowing thirium regulator, setting it on her lap before taking out Markus' and placing it on the snow below. Markus just looked at her with despair, mouth forming words of disagreement,' _No North, you can't do this- you, you'll **die** \--_'. Her only words and she pushed in her own regulator into Markus' gaping chest,' _That's the point dumb ass, now go.. before I change my mind.._ ',she mumbled as she slumped down, the timer slowly ticking down to her death.

Permanent. 

Markus grabbed her shoulders, shaking her slightly as she shut her eyelids and her body went lax and lifeless.

Like a doll.

Simon looked away, ashamed at witnessing such an intimate moment. 

He felt guilty relief.

Guilt at being relieved about how North wasn't involved with Markus in a romantic sense. Guilt at thinking so negatively of his friend. 

> _' Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt._
> 
> _Disgusting.'_

Simon pursed his lips as he went back to the remaining survivors, checking on everyone and looking at their wounds.

Acting.

As if he never saw what he did. As if he didn't want to cry. As if he didn't feel disgusted at his own behaviour.

> ——— **Priority: (HIGH) Stand with your community.**

Simon clenched his fists as Markus arrived, and a group of officers behind him, pinning their own little android group into a corner. 

Markus stood in front and in the middle, Simon to the left of him and Josh to the right of him.

Bright and blinding lights shone on them from the helicopter, wind blowing Markus' jacket's tail all over the place as the android tried to figure out what would be the best course of action to take, to not let everyone die because of him.

Simon glanced down at Markus' hands by his sides, clenching tightly he stared at the officers. 

He then glanced to his own hands, un-clenching them and putting a hand over Markus', squeezing the fist before it un-clenched and their fingers laced together silently.

Markus looked to Simon. Sweet Simon. Always caring, the middle ground between North and Josh's arguing. Markus' eyes softened as his eyes met Simon's, the smaller android shooting him a comforting smile. 

And he knew what to do.

He opened his mouth and started to sing, the others joining in as he squeezed Simon's hand harder.

 ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ 

The last time Simon realised what he felt was love was when he looked to Markus, standing above hundreds and hundreds of androids who were freed by Connor, and whom were from Jericho, giving his speech confidently as the news reporters took pictures and the helicopter shone a light on him, flying close. He rearranged his face into a sad expression, a bittersweet smile taking place on his lips as he glanced at the empty spot where North would've stood, a hand coming up to rub the other one uncomfortably. 

Markus looked back at him at the end of his speech, a beaming smile on his own face, to which he just smiled back meekly, blue flush once again tinting his features delicately as he went into deep thought.

> _' He really has no idea how much I love him. My heart seems to beat for him and **only** him; it aches in a way that sets my cooling liquid seemingly on fire and makes me want to get up and  **run**. _
> 
> _It's like there's a disco party in my chest every-time he does something, something that is so **him**. _
> 
> _He makes me gasp for air like I've been underwater, drowning for a **millennia** even though I have no use for breath, but he makes me sigh with relief._
> 
> _When we laugh and smile, it's like there's a small click and everything is right in the world, as if my code had been completed._
> 
> _I yearn to hold his heart in my hands and cherish him with every fibre of my being._
> 
> _I yearn for him to claim me his and say those three little words of "I love you." '_

Simon snapped out of his thoughts once Markus put a hand on his shoulder as Josh left the stage, Connor trailing behind him as they chatted,"Sy? You okay?",he spoke with his smooth voice, like caramel, and in an instant Simon just nodded without a word. "I'm fine...just thinking that's all." He looked up to Markus with a shy smile before joining the other two,  blush becoming more vivid as he could feel those blue and green eyes stare at his back.

They now all stood below, Markus next to Simon, Connor on Simon's side and Josh on Markus', proudly looking at the masses of androids freed, letting themselves be photographed by the hungry media. 

What Simon didn't expect to happen was feeling a snake-like hand slither onto and around his hip, dragging him closer to a sturdy chest. He let out a small noise of surprise as he looked to stare at Markus with a somewhat hesitant expression while his cheeks flushed,"Markus ?" He questioned as he somewhat relaxed into his hold.

Markus' own face tinted blue as he hummed in acknowledgement. Simon simply smiled and reached for his other hand, happily threading his own fingers through Markus' before connecting with him as he leaned up to kiss the revolutionary. 

"I love you."

"I love you too, Sy."

**Author's Note:**

> simon's feelings; i-i'll do anything !!  
> simon witnessing that intimate moments between markus and north; then p e r i s h


End file.
